So it's been a while.

This time, I'm actually not going to chicken out and post this.

All my actions paints my face like so.

I can't change my identity.

I can't lie and live someone else's life.

In the end, it will all come back to me.

So the truth comes out...
Yeah, I miss my dad. I still love him even if he betrayed me.
I miss my "mother". She played the role of a mom in my life longer than anyone else.
At least she tried. And I respect that.

Even though I thought running away was the courageous thing to do,
it obviously was not.
I could have fought back.
I could have said something.
But I didn't.

And now, I'm back to square one.
I started cutting again.
I haven't told anyone about my dad, though no one really needs to know.
I'm looking for anything that pays, cause I'm that desperate.
I can't even drag my own brother into it, since he's living his prestigious life.
And yes, of course, I still have that conceited ego that prevents me from asking for help.

And of course if you look for the "defect", or problem, it's just...
me.